Pow Pow Picard! Why Picard's name is Piers
by Water Adept Picard
Summary: Enough with the monotonous joke about his name Picard finds away to fix his problem, will it work?
1. Disclaimer and such

*Disclaimer* I do not own golden sun, nor the phrase "Pow Pow Picard". I just thought it was hilarious and decided to spoof on why Picard is known as Piers. I hope the author Alex doesn't object to the phrase usage. Please don't flame for just some reason!

This fic will pertain into how Picard becomes Piers, the phrase alone could do it. So if you would like to see humor, then you have come to the right place! I hope you enjoy it! Again, please only flame if you feel it is terrible in some way, ok now I hope you enjoy the fic!!!!


	2. Pow Pow Picard!

*Disclaimer* I do not own Golden Sun or the phrase "Pow Pow Picard"

Chapter 1 Pow Pow Picard!!!

"Come back here Karst!!" Jenna shouted as she chased the fire adept through the streets of Vale. Isaac, Garet and Ivan were following her.

"Sorry, but I don't plan on stopping anytime soon, and not for you anyway!" Karst hissed back.

"I don't think so Karst!" Mia and Sheba called to the fire adept as they blocked her path from ahead.

"Drop the coins Karst, we need them for the festival tonight!" Felix called as he caught up to Jenna and the rest. 

"Oh you mean these?" Karst said innocently as she tossed the medium sized bag of coins in her hand playfully. "Then come and get them!"

"Your mine!" Jenna shouted as she charged at Karst.

"Agatio now!!" Shouted Karst as Agatio appeared and sprayed what appeared to be a clear white gunk onto Jenna, sticking her to the ground.

"Ha ha!" Felix teased "Looks like you got hit with a roasted marshmallow! Ha ahh!!" He was cut off as Agatio aimed the hose and got Felix square in the face with it and he fell backwards into the pile along with Jenna.

"Now you look ridiculous!" Jenna chuckled as she said it. "Ewww what is this stuff?

."Why a Psynergy blocker of course!! Those hit with it cannot use Psynergy for 3 hours!" Agatio cackled. 

"Why three hours, couldn't you make it last longer?" Sheba smirked

"Yeah well you try and make a better one!" Karst fumed. "It took us weeks to get this right!!"

"Bleah" Felix muttered as he tried to remove the gunk from his face, but made matters worse as he pulled and ended up sticking his cheek to Jenna's back, getting it stuck there.

SHRIEK!! "Felix!!!" Jenna screamed as Felix tried to remove his face from Jenna, but touched something he shouldn't have. 

SMACK!!! Is all that could be heard from Jenna as she smacked Felix's free cheek and getting her hand stuck there in the process.

"This is too much!!!" Agatio laughed "We should have done this sooner!!" 

"That's quite enough!!" Mia called "I will free them easily!! Dou---" Before she could finish, Karst fired a fireball to stop her and Agatio fired the hose once more getting both Sheba and Mia trapped as well.

"Great…now what?" Sheba said "This day gets better and better…"

"Ivan!" Isaac called "Use shrine plasma! We have to get them away from the guys!"

"Right" Ivan focused his palms until he was able to focus bolts of lightning as he cast shrine plasma.

Karst looked with wide eyes. "This is going to hurt!"

"Yup…" Agatio implied as the lightning bolts shocked both of them, illuminating the town of Vale nicely.

Isaac and Garet looked away from the bright light as it continued to get brighter before the bolts were finished and the view returned to normal.

"Do I smell burnt toast?" Garet replied, as he smelled the air, Karst and Agatio looked more shocked than anything else.

"Garet they were electrocuted not fried" Isaac replied.

"Oh…Well they look funny! Karst's hair looks like she is Frankenstein's bride!" Garet chuckled.

Agatio laughed at the comment as he looked at Karst, and Garet was right, Karst's hair did look more like it was from a horror movie now.

"WHAT!!" bellowed the disgruntled fire adept. "How dare you mock me!!! You'll pay!!!"

"Yes and how are you going to do that? With the coins you stole?" Ivan replied. Rearing to fire another round of shrine plasma.

"Ugh Agatio, let's get out of here!!" Karst called to her partner as she rose to her feet.

"Right, ugh my back, that's going to sting for a few days." Agatio replied as he got to his feet, still clutching the hose in his hand.

"Last warning…" Isaac said sternly "Return the coins or Ivan's going to give the town a light show in your honor!"

"You forget we still have this!!" Agatio said as he fired the hose, getting Ivan and Garet soaked with the gunk as they became stuck together in it.

"Looks like we win this time, you give up Isaac!!" Karst replied as she readied a fireball for the earth adept, as Agatio readied the hose for Isaac.

Nearby where the hose led to a small tank of the Psynergy blocker, a foot stepped on the hose.

"Take this!!!" Agatio fired the hose, but to his dismay nothing came out. "Huh?!"

"What?!" Karst hissed "It can't be empty! We have enough supply to cover the entire town of Vale!"

"Grr…" Agatio growled as he tapped the hose to work and still nothing, he placed his face near the hose to see what was the matter and…

The foot by the tank of the Psynergy blocker released its hold of the hose.

SPLAT!!!

"Agatio, you idiot!!" Karst bellowed, as both fire adepts were soaked from head to toe in the gunk and fell down on the ground, stuck to it.

"Ugh…" Agatio muttered from under the gunk that covered him.

Isaac and the others looked baffled as to why the hose malfunctioned for the duo.

"Is everyone all right!" called Picard after running to them from the tank.

"Pow pow Picard!!" Jenna called from the gunk.

"Umf Umf Ummf!!! (Pow Pow Picard)" Felix called from the gunk.

"Pow Pow Picard!!!" called the rest of the adepts, including Agatio and Karst.

Picard's face went flush. "Do you honestly have to say that?!"

A bit annoyed Picard motioned his hands as he cast "Deluge!!" shouted the perturbed water adept.

Just then a wave of water rushed from beyond the water adept, engulfing him and Isaac in it. Next, Jenna and Felix, along with Agatio and Karst.

"You think Picard doesn't like that?" Mia asked.

"Oh no he doesn't mind at all." Sheba said

"Then why did he cast deluge?" Mia replied

"Good point" Sheba said

The wave finally reached them and they too were swallowed into it. In a few moments all the adepts were washed further down the streets of Vale, into the Town Square.

"Ugh" Karst said as she got up once more "Agatio forget the coins let's get out of here!!"

"Right!!" Both adepts soaked head to toe ran for their lives as they ran out of town.

"All right Picard!!!" Felix called

"Way to go!!" Ivan said

"Yay Picard!!" called Mia and Sheba

Picard smiled as he saw his friends cheering for him as he held the coin bag full of the stolen coins in his hand.

"Three cheers for Picard!!" "Isaac said

Picard stopped and thought "Oh no, please no!"

"Pow pow Picard! Pow Pow Picard!! Pow Pow Picard!!!"

"Ugh" Picard said as he fell backwards onto the damp grass.

The rest of the adepts laughed and helped Picard back up and headed to help set up the festival again.

"Come on Picard, don't fall behind!" called Garet.

"Alright" Picard said as he got back up and ran to catch up to the others.

"Pow pow Picard!' Jenna shot back to him.

"Ugh" Picard said as he fell onto the grass face first. "Why me!?"


	3. Festival Follies

Festival Follies

After the fiasco of earlier, everyone resumed his or her roles of preparing for the festival.

"Ok! Everyone time to get this place snazzy!" Isaac said happily.

"Snazzy? I thought this was a normal festival not a formal outing Isaac…" Jenna chimed in.

"Right…You know what I mean…let's get this place set up!" called back Isaac.

"Look at Mr. Leader…I guess that means he'll be dancing with Jenna at the festival!" Sheba said while Jenna and Isaac exchanged blushed looks at one another.

"Well they do seem to get along well, unlike others…" Mia says with a sigh as she takes a glance which appears to be Garet playing with a banner setting it up while Ivan holds a the ladder Garet is on.

"Not so close, whoa, steady…steady…" calls Garet from the ladder down to a commanded Ivan.

"Please Garet, if it isn't too much trouble…make up your mind…I can't keep this thing steady all day…" Ivan complained from below.

"Ivan, relax…I have a plan…Isaac isn't going to be the only one with a date for the festival…" He sneakily takes the banner and testing its strength, and a shocked Ivan looks on.

"What are you doing Garet? We are supposed to be setting up for later!" Ivan replied firmly.

"Just relax it will be well worth it…" Garet says as he watches from the corner of his eye and Mia is talking to Jenna and Isaac while helping decorate as well. 

"These party favors look good here don't you think Jenna?" Mia asks.

"Oh yeah, perfect! Thanks Mia, don't you agree Isaac?"

"Yeah definitely Jenna" Isaac replies while blushing.

"Aw, he's blushing, Jenna you are so lucky to have a guy like that…" Mia replied.

"I know, but what about you Mia? Isn't there anyone for you? Jenna replied.

In the distance Garet can be seen preparing to swing like Tarzan to his unsuspecting Jane, in an attempt to get her to notice him more, as Ivan looks on perplexed.

"Are you sure this will work Garet?" Ivan replied. "I don't think it will…"

"Just give me a small draft with your psynergy that will let me swing to her, I need to impress her…it just has to work!"

(Sigh) "Ok Garet I better get the bandages ready…" with a flick of his wrist, Ivan produces a small draft below Garet to give him a bit more altitude for when he swings. The banner maybe long enough, but there is still a great chance Garet due to his size and weight could very well snap the banner. With Jenna on festival design and the thousands of thrashings that will come from her and the rest for the miscalculation in the amount of weight the banner can hold could be very costly. So, the only logical solution Garet could come up with even as bright as it may not be is to make himself lighter.

"Shouldn't you be light enough without psynergy, your head is just full of air…" Ivan said to himself.

"What was that?" Garet shot back.

"Nothing…nothing…break a leg, Romeo…" Ivan said nervously.

"Yeah…er…no I just want to swing over to Mia…" Garet replied daftly. With that Garet began his flight of fancy or just plain reckless maneuver to impress Mia.

"I am not sure, every here seems nice but I am unsure, if anyone here I really do like…maybe…" Mia said as an object in the distance began to get closer.

"Hi everyone!" Picard cheerfully said as he helped Felix wheel the cake out on its cart.

"Picard, ugh more help! The cake…the cake….hard to steer…" Felix grumbled trying to keep the enormous pastry from getting away, all marveled on the cake's splendor as Felix was trying to keep it in place.

"Wow! Nice decorating guys!" Jenna shouted.

"Yes very nice work!" Isaac agreed.

"Well you can tell it was mostly Picard's work here." Mia added.

"Well I can't take all the credit, Felix helped too…" Picard blushed.

"A little help…please…" A red faced Felix replied exhausted.

"Is that too heavy for you old man?" Picard replied

"Old…old?! Who are you calling old, grandpa? You out live all of us combined!" Felix huffed.

"That maybe so but, the cart isn't giving me that much trouble…" Picard places his hand on it.

"Felix you need to be a bit more like Picard, he doesn't get winded so easily!" Sheba replied.

"Well I wouldn't say that…" Picard blushed, causing Felix to get red out of jealousy for that remark.

"Ok! That is it!" Felix shouts as he lets go of the cart and Picard stabilizes it.

"Felix! Don't be rude, we are just playing, besides we know you helped out, so relax!" Jenna comforted him.

"Yeah, you are right, no need to get bent out of shape over it, guess there is only one Picard…" Felix grins evilly at him, Picard's eyes grow wide with terror as if at the mercy at what he is going to say next.

"Please no…" Picard silently, says to himself at the mercy of Felix's next words, the words that haunt Picard relentlessly everyday. As if someone turned on the cheesy movie effects in that the next words came out of Felix's mouth in slow motion…

"POW…….POW……..PICARD!!!!" Felix said

"POW POW PICARD!!!" Jenna excitedly shouted after her older brother.

Then the chorus of Mia, Isaac and Sheba chimed in to the siblings: "POW POW PICARD! POW POW PICARD!! POW POW PICARD!!!"

Everyone but Picard laughed at the expression of a flushed Picard and admiring the cake.

"Good old Picard!" Sheba said

"Can always count on him!" Added Isaac.

"Yup!" The duo of Felix and Jenna replied together.

"Why me?" Picard replies to a laughing crowd of adepts.

"Well this cake is really good! You think it will be enough for everyone in Vale?" Mia asked.

"Plenty! Even with Garet there, speaking of which where is he, I haven't seen him or Ivan…" Jenna replied.

"Good question, but what are they doing?" Sheba asked.

"Hanging banners, what could possibly go wrong?" Isaac added.

"WATCH OUT!!!!!!!!" From the distance a worried Ivan shouts.

"Why am I not surprised…" Felix answered.

Out of the distance the blur moves closer, swinging on the banner that is worthy of being in a movie as a stunt double Garet "King of Banners" Makes his entrance.

"Tarzan come for his Jane!!!" Garet shouts as he swings in like the apeman, with a shocked crowd, along with a shocked Mia nearly getting picked up by Garet, but he overshot by an inch and swung over her, letting go of the banner and become a human bullet, due to Ivan's psynergy. 

"It's a bird?" Jenna shouts.

"It's not a plane!" Picard says.

"It's Garet!!" Mia said as she looked behind her as Garet flew by.

The human bullet landed in the only thing within range.

"The cake!!" Sheba shouted as Isaac and Jenna dived away from it as a Garet flies into it headfirst splattering cake on everyone.

"What in Vale has happened?" Kraden said as he left his house after a bit of "research" in his books. Following the commotion that is in Town Square only to find all the adepts lying on the ground covered in cake.

"I just got new clothes on!" Jenna stormed.

"Cake is not good fashion sense…" Sheba replied.

"But it does look good on you…" Felix added, only to get cake thrown in his face by Sheba.

"Garet, what were you thinking, or wait _not_ thinking!" Isaac said, taking cake out of his ear, pulling out part of a wax candle.

"Mmmmph…mmmph…" A grounded Garet replied, with legs flailing from the compounds of the dessert.

"Is everyone all right?" Ivan replied as he caught up to Garet, and was look upon by the others. "Oh my…"

"Ivan…do you know anything about this?" Sheba asked.

"I would like to inquire him myself…" Picard said picking up a piece of cake gingerly.

"I would like to too…" Mia said, rolling some cake up in a ball and getting ready to take aim.

"No…please…no cake…we didn't have dinner yet! Ivan said nervously, ducking as cake went flying in his direction.

"Goodness! Everyone what is the meaning of this? Enough playing! We have a festival to get ready for! Back to work!" Kraden told the adepts who all stared at him in shock. "Look at this mess! The cake is for later not now…I never got a piece…"

"You never got one?" Isaac replied

"We can arrange that…" Jenna smirks.

"How? Oh…" Kraden looks on as all the adepts minus Garet assault Kraden with cake, dragging him in it and pelting him with cake balls.

"Mmmmmmmm…..cake……" Garet replies from the base of the cake.


End file.
